Know My Name by Chanel Miller

Genre: Memoir

FIVE STARS * * * * *

Trigger warning: Memoir oriented around a sexual assault

This is my book of the year so far and likely to win the title for the whole of 2020 too. It is one of the most compelling narratives I've ever heard. It's the story of Chanel Miller, read by Chanel herself (I listened to the audio book), who was sexually assaulted at a party and whose assailant was judged more on his potential than his crime. The way that this memoir is narrated is incredible. The introspection and spectacular description and analysis of all aspects of this terrible story are truly incredible. The author's phenomenal ability to articulate so well the turmoil, the injustices and emotions of everything around her life and this tragic event, transcends this memoir into the voice of not just Chanel but so many victims who have not been heard.

I am reminded of the power of words through this book. Chanel describes herself through a series of behaviours at the start of the story, where we come to know her as someone who doesn't call attention to herself, likes to blend in. Yet with her book, her words and her journey, she's created something which is synonymous to a tidal wave.

"I am shy. In elementary school for a play about a safari, everyone else was an animal. I was grass. I've never asked a question in a large lecture hall. You can find me hidden in the corner of any exercise class. I'll apologise if you bump into me. I'll accept every pamphlet you hand out on the street. I've always rolled my shopping cart back to its place of origin. If there's no more half and half on the counter at the coffee shop, I'll drink my coffee black. If I sleep over, the blankets will look like they've never been touched. I've never thrown my own birthday party. I'll put on three sweaters before I ask you to turn on the heat. I'm OK with losing board games. I stuff my coins haphazardly into my purse to avoid holding up the check-out line. When I was little I wanted to grow up and become a mascot so I'd have the freedom to dance without being seen." [quoted directly from 'Know my Name' by Chanel Miller]

Synposis

She was known to the world as Emily Doe when she stunned millions with a letter. Brock Turner had been sentenced to just six months in county jail after he was found sexually assaulting her on Stanford's campus. Her victim impact statement was posted on BuzzFeed, where it instantly went viral - viewed by eleven million people within four days, it was translated globally and read on the floor of Congress; it inspired changes in California law and the recall of the judge in the case. Thousands wrote to say that she had given them the courage to share their own experiences of assault for the first time.

Now she reclaims her identity to tell her story of trauma, transcendence, and the power of words. It was the perfect case, in many ways - there were eyewitnesses, Turner ran away, physical evidence was immediately secured. But her struggles with isolation and shame during the aftermath and the trial reveal the oppression victims face in even the best-case scenarios. Her story illuminates a culture biased to protect perpetrators, indicts a criminal justice system designed to fail the most vulnerable, and, ultimately, shines with the courage required to move through suffering and live a full and beautiful life.

As taken from the author's website.

My thoughts

For me this memoir, beyond one of immense pain and suffering, is an account of all that is wrong with the way women and victims of sexual assault are so often treated and just how far we still need to go in this world to combat biases. Put so well, Miller says, "“My pain was never more valuable than his potential,” and, “They seemed angry that I’d made myself vulnerable, more than the fact that he’d acted on my vulnerability”. At the same time, stand in awe of the utter strength and fight of this remarkable woman. A woman who is nonetheless, exceptionally considerate towards her attacker in her wish for him to learn, grow and move on.

I learnt about aspects of seeking justice, how exposed victims are, the 360 degree dissection of lives that occurs in the process. The impact of the assault on her family, her relationship...the minute details laid bare in this memoir had me tearing up on multiple occasions. Her voice also breaking as she narrated in my ear. I don't say this often but this book is an absolute 'must-read'. For everyone. And when you've finished reading it, tell others to read it too.

About the author

Chanel Miller is an American writer and artist based in San Francisco, California and New York City, New York. She first came into the public eye anonymously after she was sexually assaulted on the campus of Stanford University in 2015 by Brock Allen Turner. The victim impact statement she wrote and read at her assailant's sentencing hearing the following year went viral after it was published online by Buzzfeed, and was read 11 million times within four days. Miller was referred to as Emily Doe in court documents and in media reports until September 2019, when she relinquished her anonymity and released her memoir Know My Name which won the 2019 National Book Critics Circle Award in the Autobiography category. She is credited with sparking national discussion in the United States about the treatment of sexual assault cases and victims by college campuses and court systems. She is also a public speaker.

As taken from Wikipedia.